It is as if someone reached up into the depths of my subconscious and flipped a switch. There’s beauty everywhere, and it was hiding right under my finger tips, collected in the dew hanging off of the branches.
I don’t think I can go back to how it was. I don’t feel anxiety in the same way, and I’m content with experiencing each moment for what it is.
Any notion of, “Things will be much better when X, because then I’ll be done with Y.” have pretty much vanished. I still have goals, but I think that enjoying life happens in the little moments when we learn or create with each other.
To borrow a line from one of my favorite films:
“Sometimes I feel like I’m seeing it [beauty] all at once, and it’s too much. My heart fills up like a balloon that’s about to burst. And then I remember to relax, and stop trying to hold on to it, and then it flows through me like rain, and I can’t feel anything but gratitude for every single moment of my stupid little life.”